Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bless their hearts, as we say down here

At rehab this morning as I was doing my bit on the treadmill, one of the nurses came up to me and was all concerned. Among the stats we record every session is our weight, and last week mine bumped up--like three pounds. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about: it was right before my period landed, so it was all water weight. Bleah.

Anyway, the nurse was "concerned." She said, "You've been gaining weight. Are you doing anything differently? Sometimes once people start exercising, their appetites increase, and they start eating a lot more." I was like no, really, it's just my period. She said, "Is it fluid?" I said yes it's fluid!! Of course, the word "fluid" when you're a heart patient suddenly takes on a whole new meaning. She asked if I was on Lasix and I said no. Honestly, it's just my period. Seriously.

She was like, well, we'll monitor it this week and maybe refer you to the nutritionist next week if we need to. *eyeroll* FFS, lady. IT'S JUST MY PERIOD. HONESTLY.

And voila, when I stepped on the scale today, the three pounds had magically vanished.

I bet the same thing's gonna happen next month, too.

And the month after that as well.

It's almost as if it were on a ... cycle. *headdesk*

I know they're just doing their jobs, and they have to keep a close watch on these things, and also that some of the medications that they put people on can cause weight gain, and that fluid retention can be a sign of a problem. But really. It's just my period.

When I told Paul about it, he reminded me that they probably don't see very many pre-menopausal women there. Which is true. But most of the nurses themselves appear to be fairly young, so you'd think that their personal experience might give them a clue.

Ah well. Just another amusing anecdote in the annals of my recovery...

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